"For when I am weak, then I am strong"

Today was a hard day for me. I really struggle with my second grade class. They are difficult to teach and, at times, hard to like. Today I just didn't have the energy for them. I felt like a horrible teacher and that they all hated me. The hardest part about this class is that three of the five kids we look after when school is out are in this class. I have been afraid teaching this class was going to strain our relationship and I worried about it even more today.

On top of all of that, I started to get a migraine headache in that class. I barely finished out my classes today, but I forced myself to since I have already been sick twice. When I walked back up to my apartment after my last class I just felt worthless. I was not able to go back out and take care of the 5 kids, which is my favorite part of the day. I just rested and tried to sleep it off.

When I finally got up, I sat on our step and watched from afar as Dave played with the kids outside. I was (and am) so proud of him. He never stops with them. It is like he has all the energy in the world. I really started to get down on myself and wonder what the heck I am doing here. I started to tell myself that I wasn't making a difference at all and if anything the kids are just liking me less. I began to doubt myself and my role here.

After a while, Dave came up and I started to make dinner. Then there was a knock on our door, it was Marili. I was out of the room so Dave told her to come in (which means stand at the bottom of our steps since we live in a loft). Dave told me she was asking for me. She doesn't speak much English so I have to speak Spanish with her. I asked her if she needed anything or wanted anything, she said "no." She just stared at me with her beautiful eyes and in her own way was just saying, "I just wanted to know where you were." We talked for a little bit and I asked her to come up. (The kids rarely ever come up to our place, I think they have been told not to). She came up and hugged me and we talked for a little while longer.

Then there was another knock. It was Yeny. She walked in and said "Can I pass?" We said of course, and she came up with Brenda following behind her. None of them wanted anything but just to spend time with us. Normally, if one of the kids comes to the door it's because someone needs something. Today, it was just to spend time with us.

Soon, they left for dinner. I felt comforted after their visit. I know God was reminding me that He is in control. I cannot make a difference. Only He can. We most likely will have no idea what God's overall purpose in bringing us here is, but I do know that I trust Him. He is always faithful.