New Every Morning

It's amazing the wonders that become dull. We've been here almost three months now. I remember the first day I took in our view over the mountains, and suddenly, I couldn't breathe as well. And now, after day after day of seeing the same amazing landscape, it's a good day if I pause at the bottom of our steps to look off the balcony. How can that become boring?
I can look at it, and conscientiously decide that it's beautiful; I know that it's beautiful. But why does my heart no longer beat faster when I look at it?

Any time we leave the compound, we are bombarded with images that three months ago were completely new. Now, they are part of the routine, lost in the goal of whatever we're out to do. Why do we become used to things? Why are we so fickle? Things lose their lustre so quickly.

Be wary of newness. It is exciting, and new things can be very good. Adventure is very good. But let not your joy be in the novelty. It will soon wear away. Rather, enjoy God in the newness. Experience God in the newness. And as the newness fades, say with Jeremiah, "The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

We need to experience the new. How else can we grasp the sustained newness of God's mercy? The mountains outside my window will not be new tomorrow, but my joy in knowing, seeing, and tasting God will be fresh and vital.

Beams of Glory

I have come realize that I am overwhelmed with blessings everyday here at La Senda. John Piper and C.S. Lewis helped me to understand these blessings more clearly tonight. Although this is long, listen to what they have to say.

C.S. Lewis writes:

"I was standing today in the dark toolshed. The sun was shining outside and through the crack at the top of the door there came a sunbeam. From where I stood that beam of light, with the specks of dust floating in it, was the most striking thing in the place. Everything else was almost pitch-black. I was seeing the beam, not seeing things by it.

Then I moved, so that the beam fell on my eyes. Instantly the whole previous picture vanished. I saw no toolshed, and (above all) no beam. Instead I saw, framed in the irregular cranny at the top of the door, green leaves moving on the branches of a tree outside and beyond that, ninety-odd million miles away, the sun. Looking along the beam, and looking at the beam are very different experiences."

Piper concludes:

"The sunbeams of blessing in our lives are bright in and of themselves. They also give light to the ground where we walk. But there is a higher purpose for these blessings. God means for us to do more than stand outside them and admire them for what they are. Even more, he means for us to walk into them and see the sun from which they come. If the beams are beautiful, the sun is even more beautiful. God's aim is not that we merely admire his gifts, but even more, his glory."

Wow. This was convicting and eye-opening for me. So many times, when I actually recognize a gift from God, I simply thank him and enjoy the gift. Oh, how I am missing the point!

Here in Guatemala, I wake up every morning to the beauty of the sun over the mountains. I get to see Steven's smiling face everyday. Marili tells me many times a week, "Te quiero mucho" (I love you so much). Dave and I get to teach eight kids about the Bible everyday in devotions. I get to cook dinner for five kids about twice a month. I pray with my first hour class every morning. And these are only a few!

More than these, I get to see and experience everyday first-hand the command from James "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." Twenty-one abused, nelgected and abandoned children are cared for, loved and most importantly taught about Jesus and I get to know them and know the people God has chosen to care for them!

I could easily choose to stand on the outside and only see these blessings. But, that is not what God has intended. He wants me to stand in the beam, look back to its source, and say, "God you are so great and worthy of all glory and honor! You are even greater than all of these things!"

Midpoint

We're right about at the midpoint of our time in Guatemala. It brings a mix emotions--even contradictory emotions. I can't believe it's already been two months. It sounds so much longer than it has felt. At the same time, I can't believe we have two more months until we get to see family and friends. Our moments of homesickness are coming much more often. In a random moment, I'll be struck with some little experience I can't wait for, like Fall. How stupid is that? I'm very much a Summer person. I've always complained about Winter, and I secretly want to punch people that say, "But aren't you glad you get to experience the seasons?" We've been here since February; we haven't even missed a Fall! But for some reason I can't wait.

Last week was Semana Santa (Holy Week) and Spring Break, and it was a nice halfway point. It was good to simply have a break, and my parents were also here. We spent a couple days in La Antigua, and a couple days here. It was so good to be with them. We had a blast showing them around and sharing some of our experiences with them (like riding in a chicken bus). It was great, too, to see them with the kids. They are fantastic parents, and it was fun to see them interact with the kids. It made me so thankful for them. I had almost forgotten how lucky I am to have such great parents. You would think that would be hard to do while helping in an orphanage, but such a man am I.

After my parents left, I had some time to reflect and look forward. We're so thankful for our first two months' worth of experience. We've been able to do things I've never imagined. For instance, I never thought I'd be able to read Jungle Book to a Guatemalan six-year-old taking a bath. I never thought I'd pray on a dark, quiet cliff while looking at a well lit city two miles in the distance on a nearby mountain. I never thought I would ride three-to-a-seat on a school bus again...with two grown Guatemalan men. I look back and think about how rich our experiences have been, and it makes me anxious for the next two months. We're refreshed and renewed.

Grande es tu Fidelidad

There is something about singing to God in another language that is amazing. I have been thinking about this for a while but couldn't completely understand how I was feeling. We have been to a Spanish and English speaking church as well as a Spanish speaking church during our time here. We have spent most of our time in the Spanish speaking church.

Most Sunday's I can follow along with most of the songs and comprehend some of what I am singing. During the preaching I can usually follow along for the first five minutes and then my brain is so overloaded that my attention goes somewhere else. I was anxious to be a part of the Easter service and worship in another culture on such an important day in the life of Christians. Luckily for me, there was only singing this Sunday, so I understood a lot more of what was happening!

Great is Thy Faithfulness is one of my all time favorite worship songs. I will never forget hearing Luke (my brother-in-law for those of you who don't know him) sing it at Dave's and my wedding. It was an amazing worship experience. If you didn't hear it, you truly missed out. This morning I had the privilege of singing this song and worshipping our great God in Spanish. As I was singing "Grande es tu Fidelidad" I realized why it was so amazing to be able to worship God in another language. There are so many times in prayer or in song that I feel I just don't have the words. That what I am saying just doesn't portray how I really feel. Worshipping God in Spanish gives me more words to worship Him. I can worship Him with new words. It was such a great worship experience and I am so thankful that God has given me new words to worship Him with!

"For when I am weak, then I am strong"

Today was a hard day for me. I really struggle with my second grade class. They are difficult to teach and, at times, hard to like. Today I just didn't have the energy for them. I felt like a horrible teacher and that they all hated me. The hardest part about this class is that three of the five kids we look after when school is out are in this class. I have been afraid teaching this class was going to strain our relationship and I worried about it even more today.

On top of all of that, I started to get a migraine headache in that class. I barely finished out my classes today, but I forced myself to since I have already been sick twice. When I walked back up to my apartment after my last class I just felt worthless. I was not able to go back out and take care of the 5 kids, which is my favorite part of the day. I just rested and tried to sleep it off.

When I finally got up, I sat on our step and watched from afar as Dave played with the kids outside. I was (and am) so proud of him. He never stops with them. It is like he has all the energy in the world. I really started to get down on myself and wonder what the heck I am doing here. I started to tell myself that I wasn't making a difference at all and if anything the kids are just liking me less. I began to doubt myself and my role here.

After a while, Dave came up and I started to make dinner. Then there was a knock on our door, it was Marili. I was out of the room so Dave told her to come in (which means stand at the bottom of our steps since we live in a loft). Dave told me she was asking for me. She doesn't speak much English so I have to speak Spanish with her. I asked her if she needed anything or wanted anything, she said "no." She just stared at me with her beautiful eyes and in her own way was just saying, "I just wanted to know where you were." We talked for a little bit and I asked her to come up. (The kids rarely ever come up to our place, I think they have been told not to). She came up and hugged me and we talked for a little while longer.

Then there was another knock. It was Yeny. She walked in and said "Can I pass?" We said of course, and she came up with Brenda following behind her. None of them wanted anything but just to spend time with us. Normally, if one of the kids comes to the door it's because someone needs something. Today, it was just to spend time with us.

Soon, they left for dinner. I felt comforted after their visit. I know God was reminding me that He is in control. I cannot make a difference. Only He can. We most likely will have no idea what God's overall purpose in bringing us here is, but I do know that I trust Him. He is always faithful.

Dinner for Five

(From left to right: Carlos, Marili, Jeffie, Steven, Gerson)

Dave and I have decided to start having the five kids up for dinner once in a while. We told them on Friday after school and they were so excited. They all said thank you right away and wanted to know what time dinner was. From then until 6:00 we never heard the end of it. We were told to be careful about having kids up to our apartment because they may steal from you. We thought we would just have them eat on our balcony and then they would never be in our place.

That plan did not work! At about 5:30 they all starting streaming in one by one wanting to help make the pizza. If you look at these kids faces you can understand how hard it is to say no to them! They looked in our refridgerator, cabinets, and even the trash. They actually found an apple in our trash and almost ate it! Dave caught it and at least washed it off and cut it up for them. They all helped to make the pizza and set the table.

They were so well behaved. They waited patiently as we served them their food. They made sure to say thank you for everything and even helped to clean up. I think they would have kept eating as long as there was food! We talked about doing this again and they all gave their ideas on what kind of food they would like to have. Tamales, pizza, spaghetti, lasagna, "Pollo Campero" (the Guatemalan version of KFC, supposedly Guatemala's pride), and coca-cola were all suggestions.

They best part was actually the next day. In the morning I went out on the balcony to get our clothes and saw Steven playing and he yelled to me, "Hey Katie, do you remember last night?" I saw Jeffie later and he said, "Do you remember last night?" In the afternoon I was talking to Marili and she said in broken Engish, "More pizza tonight?" They were still excited about it the next day and wanted to make sure we thought it was special. We will definitely be doing this again!

Toast in a Frying Pan

So, after a month of being here I started to think that maybe I was such a healthy person that I wouldn't get sick. Boy, was I wrong! Dave and I spent most of the day on Saturday and part of the day on Sunday in Antigua this weekend. We love going here because it seems like such a safe place. We don't worry too much about getting robbed, where we are going to sleep at night, and most importantly the food we eat.

We are still careful and make sure not to drink the water and only drink out of glasses with ice cubes that have holes in them (for some reason those ice cubes are safe). We have actually sat down at a restaurant and left after seeing how the food is cooked. We haven't been stupid. But, you cannot control everything.

We got back to our place in the early afternoon on Sunday and I felt fine. We ate a really light lunch before we left Antigua and got so busy doing other things that we didn't even think about eating dinner until about 7:30. We both heated up some leftover lasagna, but my body was telling me not to eat it. Good thing I didn't! From about 8pm last night until 5:30am I was waking up about every half hour. I won't go into details, but it was an awful night!

There are a few things that my mother has given me since childhood to eat and drink when I am sick. I continue to need those things now as an adult! I need ginger ale, campbell's chicken noodle soup, and toast. Well, it's not like Dave can just go to the grocery store and get me ginger ale, plus I don't think they even have it here! I had some noodles and chicken broth, so I thought I would just cook the noodles in the broth and make due with what I had. I thought that canned goods don't expire, but something was definately wrong with my chicken broth. It was black and smelled horrible! So, ginger ale and chicken soup were out. Toast was my only option, except we don't have a toaster! I resorted to cooking toast in a frying pan. It did not turn out to be the comforting food I had wanted it to be. Toast in a Frying Pan just doesn't hit the spot when you are sick!